Marriage Essay -- Literary Analysis, Gary Chapman

Introduction What is needed for a marriage in today’s world to last? Have you all heard the song, "All you need is love? Is that a misconception? After being married for 14 years, I believe so. Author Gary Chapman states that what is the real meaning of love? He examines how we as individuals throw the term around so easily in our everyday lives. He explores how we can love anything from dessert to a favorite rock band. Is the true definition of love, being valued and respected in our marriages today? (Chapman, 2010). Is love a feeling of expression and is there such a thing as love? Couples marry because they love each other correct? Then why are there so many divorces happening everyday. â€Å" What leads a couple to a divorce?† There could be many reasons, for example, the death of a child, infertility, drug/alcohol abuse, or physical abuse. One of the biggest reasons for divorce is Infidelity, which in many instances can lead to divorce and is probably one of the most damaging things that can happen in a marriage. Wilmot & Hocker state, Infidelity is one of the most common problems married couples face today. â€Å"When people experience conflicts, much of their energy goes into emotions related to those conflicts† (Wilmot & Hocker, 2). For example in infidelity, some of those emotions can be stress, sadness, depression, and anger. Statistics may vary, but they show for the most part, that 60% of men and 40% of women will participate in or be faced with an extramarital affair at some point in their marriage. The relationship rapidly shifts from madly in love to signing the divorce paper and sharing custody of the children (Fisher, 2008). The Emotions of Infidelity If you or someone you loved have experienc... ...ch this conflict in a rational and collaborative style. Conclusion I have explored how the emotions of anger, denial, rejection and guilt can save a marriage if approached with the right conversations and clarity. We have learned from the research that peoples perceptions of a conflict like an affair, can lead them to feel negative emotions that can be very difficult to overcome. By understanding the emotions that can enter after infidelity, more people faced with this conflict might be able to save their own marriage. As we know, conflict occurs when people are not capable of controlling their emotions in certain situations (Bell & Song, 2005). Therefore, if a married couple would like to try to save their marriage after infidelity, they should try to better understand what their spouse is feeling and how they can overcome those emotions together.